The art of getting what you want

Women tend to believe that they can't get what they want or they have to compromise and get a version of something that looks like what they want. This version is usually very far from the truth. For the majority of women they hunt for the perfect wedding dress. They will seek high and low to find this perfect dress and they won't compromise for anything. They want it and they will make sure they get it. I find this very ironic because usually these same women did not put as much due diligence on choosing the man they are going to put on the dress for. Does this make sense?

I have always known a criteria of the man that I wanted. I  was in boarding school and my friends and dorm mates all told me that that man did not exist. They even went on to tell me I would never get married because I had unrealistic expectations. I just said to myself if I can't find him then so be it. One day I went to church and I listed the qualities of the man I wanted. He had to be smarter than me but humble, he had to be patient, want to cook, enjoy adventure, funny, kind, loving, romantic and many others. I left the church and forgot about it. Slightly over a year later, I had met the man I was going to marry. I later found out that he fulfilled all my needs and more. He was perfect man. He didn't need fixing but he needed my love. I gave him the love he needed and he gave me the love I needed. In doing that we both grew to be better human beings than we could have been if we had not found each other. I was so proud of my choice. As a human he wasn't perfect and neither am I but my love was strong enough to let his imperfections raise the bar of my ability to love.
So the trick is know what it is you want, recognise it when you find it and celebrate having it.

How to avoid being ugly?

We all know how fights can be ugly. Why do we say that? Because the people fighting will be saying and doing things that are harmful to both their well being.  I read once in a book by Kara Oh called "Men made easy" that behaviour that doesn't use Feminine Elegance is ugly. Being ugly is to complain all the time, to ridicule and badge your man or other people, to nag and to make your man or any man feel bad and wrong because they just happen to process things differently than you do.

As women we want to be perceived as beautiful, pretty, good looking anything at all that is pleasing to the eye. That is just the outside. What about inside? I think it is even more important to be Elegant inside. Elegant  is described by the Oxford dictionary as, "Graceful and stylish in appearance or manner." What woman would not love that? The good thing is you can't be both elegant and ugly at the same time. 

So how do you choose to be elegant? You stay in the moment. You don't react to triggers but you respond. You allow the people around you to be who they are authentically without feeling threatened. You take charge of your emotions and manner. The words that come out of your mouth shouldn't  leave you feeling ugly but should leave you feeling good inside. You teach yourself to relax and to have a sense of humour. You are able to laugh at yourself and you don't take yourself too seriously. You don't take everything that happens around you personally. You express yourself with confidence. You are authentic. You allow you heart to open and love freely. If you manage to develop these skills you will have amazing relationships because it would be fun to be around you.

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