Male brain is programmed to seek out sex over food

Brain cells specific to men fire up when mates are present and override the need to eat, scientists have found

It is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but a new study suggests that when it comes to sex, food is the last thing on his mind.

Researchers have found that the male brain is hardwired to seek out sex, even at the expense of a good meal, with specific neurons firing up to over-ride the desire to eat.

Intriguingly, women do not have the same neurons, suggesting that sex for females comes secondary to sustenance.

Although the neurons have only been found in the brains of nematode worms, scientists at University College London say that it is likely that similar mechanisms are at work in humans.

And it is proof that male and female brains are wired differently, a controversial subject, which has been argued by scientists and feminists for decades.

Co-author Professor Scott Emmons, from the Departments of Genetics and Neuroscience at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, said: "Though the work is carried out in a small worm, it nevertheless gives us a perspective that helps us appreciate and possibly understand the variety of human sexuality, sexual orientation, and gender identification.

"Although we have not looked in humans, it is plausible that the male human brain has types of neurons that the female brain doesn't, and vice versa. This may change how the two sexes perceive the world and their behavioural priorities."

The team were surprised to find the new cells because the worms have been studied by extensively in the past and it is the first time they have been spotted.

The newly identified neurons have been dubbed MCMs or 'mystery cells of the male'

The worm species used in the study, Caenorhabditis elegans, has two sexes: males and hermaphrodites.

These hermaphrodites are essentially modified females that carry their own sperm and do not need to have sex in order to reproduce.

Scientists conditioned the worms so that when salt was present they realised that they would be starved. Over time, the worms moved away from the salt. However when the salt was present at the same time as a mate, the male worm still moved towards the mate. In contrast, hermaphrodites moved away from the salt even when a mate was present.

It indicated that for males the sex trigger was stronger than the salt.

"Areas of the brain involved in learning display sex differences in many animals, including humans, but how these differences directly affect behaviour is not clear,” said senior author Dr Arantza Barrios of UCL’s Cell & Deveopmental Biology department.

"We've shown how genetic and developmental differences between the two sexes lead to structural changes in the brain of male worms during sexual maturation.

“These changes make male brains work differently, allowing males to remember previous sexual encounters and prioritise sex in future situations."

I guess it's not true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

The research was published in the journal Nature.

Telegraph.co.uk. Article from Irish Independent 14/10/15

Have you asked yourself these questions about men?

Why men quit being romantic?
Why commitment seems so difficult for men?
Why they don't seem to listen when you're speaking to them?
Why sex seems the only thing most men think about?
Why they seem so insensitive?
Or even why they won't talk about how they feel?
Why passion goes away?
Why good men are so hard to find?

Do you find yourself any or all of the above questions with your girlfriends and never really come up with answers? I can help you not only answer these questions but get to understand men in a way you never thought possible. What if I told you that all the above questions just come up because as women we have forgotten how to use our Feminine Elegance which is the key to understanding them? Women like Sarah from the Bible are an example of many women who grew up in the times when women were never taken seriously and yet they had such power and influence. How did they do that? The secrets I can teach you will help you unlock that knowledge again so you can use it to your advantage.
If you're curious to know more, send us an email at heartcandyy@gmail.com.

The story of the 5 balls

I am sure you have heard the story of juggling five balls which I got from "Suzanne's diary for Nicholas" by James Patterson. They are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. Family, health, friends and integrity are made of glass but work is a rubber ball. We spend most of our lives going through formal education and training so that we're good enough to qualify for and be excellent at our jobs. Yet we devote very little time and attention to family, health, friends and integrity which I define as our relationships with ourselves and each other. Since these are made of glass maybe we need to put more work in making them healthier. It is our relationships that make us feel happy and fulfilled. Love is always about adding, increasing, growing and connecting. Dr. Dispenza says, and I agree with him, these days it is not enough just to know but it is time to know how. Let me show you how to have awesome relationships that help to make you feel fulfilled in life.
Sign up now for a complimentary coaching session.

Apologies my friends

I would like to thank all those who were reading my posts. I really appreciate your interest in my thoughts and ideas. I have been quiet because I decided to create a program that I am going to use for coaching all those of you who wish to go deeper with me. Anyway from now on I will be giving you tips on how to start making your relationships more fun and exciting. I will not be writing long articles but just giving hints and tips on the practical things you can start to do for yourself.

So today write down 5 things you just love about yourself. It might be how you cook good meals, play football with your kids or look after yourself. It should be personal and meaningful to you. See how great you feel after that exercise.

Make $200 An Hour As a Life Coach – Free HD Video

A lot of you have asked me about being a life coach and if it’s “worth it.”
Here’s my answer… Absolutely!
My good friend and coach trainer Christy Whitman just released a free video on how you can become a life coach and start earning $200 an hour in less than 90 days. She likes to refer to coaching as “A simple business that changes lives.”
So…
If you’re looking for the next step in your life —
If you’re looking for something more fulfilling —
If you want to help people and at the same time help yourself —

Then I strongly suggest going here and watching it today.

http://tinyurl.com/pftat5x

How to avoid suffering by using your feminine energy

For some reason women believe that suffering is a good thing. Why else would we put up with it so much if we don't like it? For example a lot of women find themselves in dissatisfying relationships and instead of using their power to resolve issues they settle and put up with them. They treat themselves badly ensuring that they are the last to get anything good including personal time. In most cultures women eat the least nutritious food even though they are responsible for bearing children. How does this make sense? Dr. Phil said, "If you love your children take care of their mother." This is so true to me. The reason women are still at a disadvantage even now is because women bring up their sons not to value women. They don't teach them how to cook, clean and take care of their

environment. In doing that they are demonstrating to their sons that they have no responsibility at all to do those chores. Furthermore they are saying a woman's job is to be a servant to a man. I have been lucky enough to be married to a man who was trained by his own mother to do all house hold chores. When we began our life together he just took it as part of life to do jobs around the house. He never felt less of a man because of it. While men are out working women could and should train their boys how to be good human beings instead of defining them with their functions. We spend so much time with our children that our influence should be the one we pass on. That is why it is fundamental for human evolution and development that women be educated in all aspects of life because we are responsible for passing on human development to the next generation. While girls have been trained for generations to be strong, achieve more and be more masculine, sons are being left behind. This just creates incompatibility in sexes which causes more pain and suffering.

What is the effect of Feminine Energy?

Feminine energy is usually calm and serene. We value to be seen and to connect with people. 

                                     

On the other side boys for example,  usually make vroom vroom noises, and run and punch each other for no reason. Everything is about speed, noise and competition. Most of them love adventure and taking risks. In my experience girls who tend to lean towards that behaviour have had either a father or brothers who encouraged them to play with them that way as well.

I remember growing up, whenever there was discord usually caused by our arguments with our dad in our home all our mother had to do was enter a room and we all calmed down. That is the

How I learnt to receive love from a man

Growing up my dad trained us girls to be self reliant. He used to say, "I don't want you to need a man." So we learnt to fix the car with him, slaughter and skin a goat, fix the stove and iron when they broke down and we even put a concrete slab by ourselves just outside the kitchen door. Our mom was not feminine in the way I have discovered most women are. The only decorative thing on our wall was a mirror she got as a gift from a cousin. She dressed really well but she was also really not like most women. She wasn't fussily female at all. I was self dependent and I never thought there was anything I couldn't do for myself. Having said that dad made sure mom was always taken care of. Her shoes were polished by him or us. When she was on night shift being a nurse we knew never to make noise enough that would wake her up. We made sure even the people who passed by our house did so quietly.

The art of getting what you want

Women tend to believe that they can't get what they want or they have to compromise and get a version of something that looks like what they want. This version is usually very far from the truth. For the majority of women they hunt for the perfect wedding dress. They will seek high and low to find this perfect dress and they won't compromise for anything. They want it and they will make sure they get it. I find this very ironic because usually these same women did not put as much due diligence on choosing the man they are going to put on the dress for. Does this make sense?

I have always known a criteria of the man that I wanted. I  was in boarding school and my friends and dorm mates all told me that that man did not exist. They even went on to tell me I would never get married because I had unrealistic expectations. I just said to myself if I can't find him then so be it. One day I went to church and I listed the qualities of the man I wanted. He had to be smarter than me but humble, he had to be patient, want to cook, enjoy adventure, funny, kind, loving, romantic and many others. I left the church and forgot about it. Slightly over a year later, I had met the man I was going to marry. I later found out that he fulfilled all my needs and more. He was perfect man. He didn't need fixing but he needed my love. I gave him the love he needed and he gave me the love I needed. In doing that we both grew to be better human beings than we could have been if we had not found each other. I was so proud of my choice. As a human he wasn't perfect and neither am I but my love was strong enough to let his imperfections raise the bar of my ability to love.
So the trick is know what it is you want, recognise it when you find it and celebrate having it.

How to avoid being ugly?

We all know how fights can be ugly. Why do we say that? Because the people fighting will be saying and doing things that are harmful to both their well being.  I read once in a book by Kara Oh called "Men made easy" that behaviour that doesn't use Feminine Elegance is ugly. Being ugly is to complain all the time, to ridicule and badge your man or other people, to nag and to make your man or any man feel bad and wrong because they just happen to process things differently than you do.

As women we want to be perceived as beautiful, pretty, good looking anything at all that is pleasing to the eye. That is just the outside. What about inside? I think it is even more important to be Elegant inside. Elegant  is described by the Oxford dictionary as, "Graceful and stylish in appearance or manner." What woman would not love that? The good thing is you can't be both elegant and ugly at the same time. 

So how do you choose to be elegant? You stay in the moment. You don't react to triggers but you respond. You allow the people around you to be who they are authentically without feeling threatened. You take charge of your emotions and manner. The words that come out of your mouth shouldn't  leave you feeling ugly but should leave you feeling good inside. You teach yourself to relax and to have a sense of humour. You are able to laugh at yourself and you don't take yourself too seriously. You don't take everything that happens around you personally. You express yourself with confidence. You are authentic. You allow you heart to open and love freely. If you manage to develop these skills you will have amazing relationships because it would be fun to be around you.

Please leave a comment.

How to use your Feminine Elegance

I have always loved being a woman. It is fun and we really have many options. What I have discovered though is that most women don't realise how powerful they are and they don't use their power to have easier lives. Most women infact have given up their power or they think that men have more power than them. This is not to bash men or even criticise them. Men have physical power and that rocks but women have emotional power and that’s awesome.  If you're in control of your emotions as a woman you are very powerful.

I  used to think that I wasn't powerful. I lost control, screamed, cried and bullied any man whom I thought was being unfair to me. I got married at 24. I was so in love with my boyfriend and we had done the work. We are the couple that had discussed the kind of marriage we wanted, how many kids, how we respond to parents' need of our assistance, or siblings etc. We also had lived together for while so I thought I knew everything about my man. I wanted kids so I had even checked out how he handled little people and even how he treated people in need. He had passed with flying colours. After a year of marriage I was miserable. I couldn't understand how that could be. I even told my mom I wanted a divorce. I had gone back to college so I couldn't really afford to leave him and we had emigrated which meant I would have no help with child minding. I decided to stay while I finished my Masters. I also decided to find out what was going wrong. I started reading so I could understand how relationships work. I knew I didn't want to live in that environment and I also didn't want to grow up in that environment. I grew up in a happy home so I knew how valuable that was.

So I read, "Getting the love you want, a guide for couples" by Harville Hendrix, "Men are from mars, women are from Venus," by John Gray and others. I knew what I didn't want but from that I decided I wanted a home that was joyous, fun and full of love. I wanted to look forward going home everyday after work. I wanted to look forward to my husband coming home after work. While I was doing all that soul searching and work something clicked and I suddenly knew how to respond when I felt triggered by my husband. I stopped lashing out. I would tell him when I was unhappy about something but now I did it gracefully. I got better results so I kept improving on that. After 18 months we were back on our love path and enjoying each other. This time we had a better appreciation of each other because we now knew it was possible to lose it all. We survived the conflict stage.

Every day we rushed home to be together. We chatted and texted during the day and just enjoyed being together. We were both grateful for what we had. I remember after our 10th wedding anniversary and I was waiting for him to meet him so we could go home together. I was so excited to see him. I noticed it and I thought it was hilarious after so long. I was happy that I managed to get us back to a great flow. As it happened my husband got cancer and died. I was devastated but I survived and I am doing alright now.

During my grieving period I talked a lot about him and us as a couple. I learnt then that other couples never get out of the conflict stage. That other couples are not as happy as I assumed they were like we were. Learning that was an eye opener for me. I started looking back to see what it is that was so different about us? I remembered all the things that I did and I spent time reviewing and writing them down. Now I want to help other women use my secrets or tools to also have good and happy relationships.

I started Heart Candy Institute to do just that. At Heart Candy Institute we work with women on how to use their femininity as a power base to pursue their gifts and talents to bring value to their lives and others so that every time they "get a chance to be a WOW "!